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As I come closer to the end of my studies and the start of my career, I have plently of opportunities to consider who I want to be.

What do I want from my future job?

Well, I can’t say that I know that right now, in fact I’m pretty sure I’d like pretty much any job, since I’m pretty flexible. But I’ve seen some things already:

It’s important to show yourself off, from your best side.

Never show any weakness.

Take every opportunity to get ahead and sell yourself.

And I’ve realized that while I want a great career, I want to be able to look back and say I’ve acted honorably all my life. That I’ve been kind. That I’ve helped people. If that means I won’t earn that extra promotion, well, I’ll just be happy with less money.

I know some people will say that you should put yourself first, because others will do the same, but alright then.

Basically, just because you’re ambitious, does that have to mean you don’t care about people?

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I read this interesting article by Anna Latimer at XoJane today.

What stuck with me was this paragraph:

You will not be proud of every single essay you submit in college. Whether you’re overworked and panicked, you procrastinated way too much, or you just don’t care about the topic, some of your essays are just not going to be that inspiring.

Don’t admit it to your professor. Don’t wince and say, “Sorry about this,” as you turn it in. No matter how well your professor knows you, he or she will not give you extra credit for self-awareness.

Part of me totally agrees, sometimes you need to fake it until you make it. The other part of me rebels and means that self-awareness and self-deprecation are two different things. To be aware of your efforts and how you present yourself is in my opinion never bad. Perhaps it’s my Swedishness bleeding though, but without self-awareness you become arrogant very fast.

Self-deprecation, however. It’s one of the things I struggle with most, actually. That pity really isn’t something that you want from other people, no matter what it may feel like. It’s so easy to deflect a compliment or to excuse something that you’ve done. Perhaps it is a female thing, as Latimer suggests, but I think it’s more than that. Not all women are self-deprecating and not all men put themselves in the spotlight.

Self-pity and deprecation are not the same as being modest or to ask for help. I feel many mix these concepts and that’s part of the problem. Going for modest but overshooting.